The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

A guy went to a dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anaesthetic shot.

"No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man said.

So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said "I can't do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!

The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No" he says "I'm fine with pills".

The dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them.

"What are those?" he asked. "Viagra" she replied.

"I'll be damned" said the patient "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer".

"It doesn't" said the dentist "But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth"
 
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Whats the difference between Man and Jelly babies ?
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Jelly babies come in 5 different flavours
 
Prince Harry is to marry his mixed-race girlfriend Meghan Markle. I think that's terrible.
All those centuries of selective breeding, only to go off and mate with someone of inferior genetic make-up.
Still, I suppose it's her business if she wants to marry a ginger.

/runs away.
 
Brendan Mulachy said:
my dad died last year when the family coudn't remember his blood group in time for the paramedics to give him a transfusion....as he was fading away he kept insisting be positive but its so hard without him
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I actually lol'd at that :D
 
Don't we live in an uncaring society these days? I went down to the local park today and as I sat there on a bench I looked around and saw an old lady feeding the birds.. and I thought to myself, I wonder how long she's been dead?
 
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