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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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- ken
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Lifejackets have been nicknamed "Mae Wests" after the American actress with her innuendo such as "I'm not concerned with the men in my life, rather than the life in my men"
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Mr Badger
Didymus
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Unless he sees some big baps to focus on instead.
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- Steve
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Hahaha! I've heard of something similar, but it was about the fear of heights, and the book being at the topmost shelf.
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Here's one I heard from a friend:
"Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..
...just five more minutes."
By the way, just in case anyone’s interested, my recent contact is selling a few 26 Inch Lexani Rims. If anyone’s interested, feel free to PM me.
"Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..
...just five more minutes."
By the way, just in case anyone’s interested, my recent contact is selling a few 26 Inch Lexani Rims. If anyone’s interested, feel free to PM me.
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Steep
Nutcrack Rapids
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- Hugh
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10 year olds be like "what's a blackberry?"
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- Ken
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Mr Badger
Didymus
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Oh no, not Déjà vu, I don't want that again!
DorsetDude
Spud
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- 7,018
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- Keith
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Went shoplifting at Disneyland today.
Got a huge Buzz out of it.
Got a huge Buzz out of it.
Nod
Tootles
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- Nod (UK)
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OP
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- The real Chris
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Phew! I thought you were going to say you got a Mr Potato head!
DorsetDude
Spud
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- Keith
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DorsetDude
Spud
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- Keith
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I was going to do my joke about Chinese people and their accents, but that would be just cheap, razy lacism
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- Ian
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Well, some Chinese companies did get caught trying to get round UK import restrictions by disguising cleaning fluids as cosmetic products. An HM Revenue & Customs spokesman said "the fragrant bleach was a flagrant breach of the legal regulations". The Chinese have yet to comment.
Tringa
Numpty of the Day'
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- Dave
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Reminds me of an edition of Radio 4's programme - The Listening Project. Each edition has a pair of people talking about just about anything. It could be a couple of octogenarians who have been friends since childhood.
One edition had a mother and young son (around about 7, I think). The Mum was trying to explain that when she was young the only phone she had was in the house, attached to a wire that came into the house, did not have a screen and you could only talk on it. The young lad was clearly confused by the idea.
Dave
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- Anonymous
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A photographer went to a dinner party. The host says, "I love your pictures, you must have a good camera." After the party the photographer says to the host, "That was a lovely meal, you must have a good stove."
DorsetDude
Spud
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- Keith
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Global Facts About Sex
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old git is reading the jokes thread.
You hang in there sunshine!
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old git is reading the jokes thread.
You hang in there sunshine!