The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

New York, new year. A mounted traffic cop sees a girl cycling and calls
"Hey, little girl, that's a nice bike, did Santa bring it?"
"Yes, he did"
"Well", says the cop writing out a ticket, "Next time ask Santa to put a reflector on it"
So she asks "That's a nice horse, did Santa bring it?"
"He sure did" replies the cop with a grin
Sweetly and innocently she replies "Next time ask Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, not on top!"
 
(As told to me by a retired inspector from the met's mounted division [or whatever the sections are called])

Police horses are the only animal with a c*** in the middle of their back.
 
12410_fb%20back%20majorgeeks.jpg
 
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me s***."
 
From Kevin Bridges last night:
URGENT help required. Does anyone know where I can get hold of a load of cardboard boxes on really short notice? A woman I know has to move house on Wednesday morning, and doesn’t have much time to prepare.
If anyone can help, could you please drop any boxes round at Theresa’s house?
 
Steep said:
I just tried to repost that on Facebook and it got blocked for "sexual content" :D
Click to expand...
Me too. I appealed and they said no again.
Same the thrid time. Weird. Maybe it was a woman who looked. :rolleyes:
 
Tried to post it again and apparently it goes against their nudity and sexual conduct guidelines :rolleyes:
 
Just tried it in a private men only group ...
Yep you guessed it ... :rolleyes:

kendo1 said:
it goes against their nudity and sexual conduct guidelines :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
:LOL:
I cut the picture in half with the FB notice and posted the whole thing in two parts so far so good :D
 
Blocked again, requested another review...
 
Not only was it sexual content, its now deemed ( on review) as hate speech..
What planet are these people on?
Capture3.JPG
 
Yep, blocked again - hate speech.
 
Still no response but the image has been deleted from my post :D

I've tried again but linking to it on a different site, not uploading it.
 
Steep said:
Still no response but the image has been deleted from my post :D

I've tried again but linking to it on a different site, not uploading it.
Click to expand...
I cut mine in half posted the top half, and replied with the bottom half :D
 
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