The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
 
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I think that a privy councillor might be considered a professional in that field - or was in days of yore!!!
 
My wife and I have just been to the cinema to see the film Suffragette.

Over two hours of a woman's struggle........full of tears, aggression, sadness, difficulties, anger and frustration.

Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park we rushed in and just about caught the end of the film and credits.
 
kendo1 said:
Remember to put your clocks back 50 years at the end of October.
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Ah yes the good old days of pot smoking protesters, complaining about climate change and women's rights.
Bring it on (y)
 
These days, the protesters are more likely to be using cocaine.
 
A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”
 
A Scotsman walks into a pub.....

..... normally there would be an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman too, but they're all in Japan still.
 
StewartR said:
A Scotsman walks into a pub.....

..... normally there would be an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman too, but they're all in Japan still.
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If recent form is anything to go buy they'll take you to court over that and appeal if they don't get the result they want until they do get the result they want.
 
MatBin said:
If recent form is anything to go buy they'll take you to court over that and appeal if they don't get the result they want until they do get the result they want.
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Or keep holding referendums :exit:
 
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