- Messages
- 951
- Name
- ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Or as the late TBT as Lady Constance once said
"You can't get over a girl like me, so you'll have to get up and go round"
and the site receives a small commission
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
Or as the late TBT as Lady Constance once said
"You can't get over a girl like me, so you'll have to get up and go round"
- Messages
- 951
- Name
- ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
The horse and mule live 30 years
And nothing know of wine and beers
The goat and sheep at 20 die
With never a taste of scotch or rye
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done
The dog at 16 cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin
The cat in milk and water soaks
And then in 12 short years it croaks
The sober, modest, bone dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs, then dies at 10
The animals are strictly dry
They sinless live and swiftly die
While sinful, ginful, rum soaked men
Survive for three score years and ten
And some of us, though mighty few
Stay pickled til we're 92
And nothing know of wine and beers
The goat and sheep at 20 die
With never a taste of scotch or rye
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done
The dog at 16 cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin
The cat in milk and water soaks
And then in 12 short years it croaks
The sober, modest, bone dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs, then dies at 10
The animals are strictly dry
They sinless live and swiftly die
While sinful, ginful, rum soaked men
Survive for three score years and ten
And some of us, though mighty few
Stay pickled til we're 92
- Messages
- 1,849
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 5,548
- Name
- mike
- Edit My Images
- Yes
BMW could put some on the indicator stalk
- Messages
- 5,335
- Name
- matt
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I drive a BM, I know exactly where the indicator stalk is without the aid of any raised bumps.
Didn't say I use it, just I know where it is.
- Messages
- 681
- Name
- George.
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Two retired ladies at an American care home, sitting on the porch taking in the last of the day's sun.
Dolores says to Martha. Have you any regrets Martha, Only one she replies. I wish that I had been able to find myself a
virgin man, to have sex with. Oh, Dolores, I could have shown him what women really need. Well, it's not too late Martha said Dolores.,
You're a very rich lady, you are only 73 you could probably buy one on the internet. The following day they put their plan into action.
They placed the add and waited and waited and waited. No replies. Then out of the blue came an offer.
Dear Mam, I think I will be able to help. I live in a small village in the outback of Australia. I am 18 years old never had a woman, but you might think I'm too young.
Martha couldn't contain her excitement. I will be on the first plane out tomorrow she wrote.
They both arrived at the hotel Martha had arranged, Martha led him to the bedroom. Wasting no time the young man upended the bed stacked all the furniture in a corner and stripped off.
Are you sure you are up for this asked Martha? Sure am Mam came the reply. Why have you moved the furniture she asked? Well, mam, we are going to need all the room we have.
If it's anything like a Kangaroo.
Dolores says to Martha. Have you any regrets Martha, Only one she replies. I wish that I had been able to find myself a
virgin man, to have sex with. Oh, Dolores, I could have shown him what women really need. Well, it's not too late Martha said Dolores.,
You're a very rich lady, you are only 73 you could probably buy one on the internet. The following day they put their plan into action.
They placed the add and waited and waited and waited. No replies. Then out of the blue came an offer.
Dear Mam, I think I will be able to help. I live in a small village in the outback of Australia. I am 18 years old never had a woman, but you might think I'm too young.
Martha couldn't contain her excitement. I will be on the first plane out tomorrow she wrote.
They both arrived at the hotel Martha had arranged, Martha led him to the bedroom. Wasting no time the young man upended the bed stacked all the furniture in a corner and stripped off.
Are you sure you are up for this asked Martha? Sure am Mam came the reply. Why have you moved the furniture she asked? Well, mam, we are going to need all the room we have.
If it's anything like a Kangaroo.
I've had a couple of BMs, and you're a disgrace to the breed Sir! We always indicate to show others what we've just done...
