The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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At a recent meeting of world leaders, Boris Johnson was having a talk with Xi Jinping, China's president.
The conversation turned to democracy. You see said Boris you just don't know how democracy works.
We have elections every 5 years. Every 5 years said Xi, he just could not contain himself. And bust out laughing. I had one just before blekfast.
 
While travelling in Vietnam, I came across a small bar absolutely heaving with locals, shouting and cheering coming from the back room.
I asked the barman what was happening, Oh it's just the weekly snail racing. Snail racing I said never heard of that before, you can win big money said the barman.
I thought I'm having some of that. So I bought myself a racing snail, 5 races 5 times last place. The chap who sold it to me said, take his shell off it will make him move faster.
I did this, but it just made him sluggish.
 
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