The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Anyone tried the Hermes position? It's basically the same as missionary but you stay in all day...
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...and nobody comes...

:coat:
 
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Justice - a dish best served cold.
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Otherwise it's justwater.
 
Was that really Oprah Winfrey interviewing the royals or Ian Wright doing a Mrs Doubtfire impression?
 
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Nod said:
Anyone tried the Hermes position? It's basically the same as missionary but you stay in all day...
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...and nobody comes...

:coat:
Click to expand...

Sounds like the tantric plumber position.

you stay in all day and no one comes!

:D
 
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Why the Russian equivalent of the SPG shouldn't stand in front of plate glass windows...

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Meghan Markle was visiting a primary school and she visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked meghan if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the the attention seeking soap star asked the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'". " No," said megahn, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained Meghan "That's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered.Meghan searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and your husband was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy. "Fantastic!" exclaimedMeghan. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f*cking accident either
 
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight, when they got off at Quality Street.
He asked her name, “Polo” she said, I’m the one with the hole, she said with a Whispa.
I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts, he replied.
They found a quiet corner in a Wham Bar and he proceeded to Kinder Surprise her as he
undid her Chocolate Buttons, and fondled her Creme Eggs.
Not a shy girl Miss Rowntree caressed his Aniseed Balls and stroked his Hobnob.
Excited now, Mr Cadbury slipped his hand in to her Snickers, found her Curly’s Wurly’s
and quickly made her Raspberry Ripple. With expert use of his Butterfingers he made her scream in Turkish Delight.
They were now Love Hearts.

Three days later his Ginger Nuts were sore and his Whopper started to itch.
All was Revels it seems the tasty Miss Rowntree shared a Topic with Bertie Bassett
who had Allsorts !
 
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(OK, I may have posted this a few weeks ago and forgotten. Am now deleting jokes/memes as I post them in the hope of avoiding self repeats!)
 
Have you heard about the two homosexuals that have just got engaged?

William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam....
 
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