The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Marc]

Seems fair enough

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Nod]

 

[Marc]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

And escalates to...

 

[Mag1cp2x]

I regret looking up at the two suitcases on top of my wardrobe and saying, 'No holidays this year with things as they are.'
Now I'm having to deal with some awful emotional baggage ...

 

[Mag1cp2x]

Everyone's reading the new bestseller that's flying off the bookshelves titled 'My Immortal Dog'.
No-one can put it down ...

 

[Mag1cp2x]

I had a really funny dream last night.
I dreamt that the boss of IKEA became the president of Sweden and I was laughing at him trying to put his cabinet together ...

 

[Nod]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

I’m now working in a toy factory making Dracula models for which there is a huge demand.
As there are only two of us in this department I am having to make every second count …

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

My memory is getting so bad, I asked the pharmacist, “Do you have any Acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

 

[Steep]

I've got some flat batteries here, free of charge to anyone who wants them.

 

[Cobra]

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Nod]

Just occasionally, getting screwed by a politician mightn't be quite so bad...

 

[Tringa]

I was getting everything ready for Eurovision last night – drinks, snacks and said to Mrs T, “It is about to start but I think I have enough time to do some popcorn?”

Have to say my accidental spoonerism got a very odd look!

Dave

 

[Nod]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

Just occasionally, getting screwed by a politician mightn't be quite so bad...

View attachment 319295

I've never tried the Government Position - obviously there'll be strings attached ...

 

[Nod]

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

View attachment 319344

Who?

 

[Earley Man]

View attachment 319344

I watched a few minutes of one of the episodes and came to the conclusion that if there are intelligent beings watching it from their spacecraft, we are absolutely safe as they will be convinced that there is no intelligent life on earth.

 

[Marc]

Who?

I think they were the baddies on Star Trek DS9

 

[kendo1]

I think they were the baddies on Star Trek DS9

View attachment 319353

Keep up!

 

[Marc]

Keep up!

With what?

 

[Cobra]

Back to normality?

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]