and please use their services
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
- Messages
- 5,548
- Name
- mike
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Close to the truth,i was interviewing a guy for a job and he said he had worked at a petrol station but he would rather i didnt contact them for a reference, there had been a problem over the cash takings
OP
- Messages
- 115,214
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
Did he get the job?there had been a problem over the cash takings
- Messages
- 11,116
- Name
- And
- Edit My Images
- No
I once threw an apple at a doctor and she flinched, so I think so.
Nod
Tootles
- Messages
- 45,567
- Name
- Nod (UK)
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 11,116
- Name
- And
- Edit My Images
- No
I wonder if being in a different room when I look will help me find him, so I'll be taking that picture to the bathroom.
Last edited:
- Messages
- 7,571
- Name
- Ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
OP
- Messages
- 115,214
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
Lost count the amount of times thats been posted on TP now
But then again, depending on who the body guards are actually employed by, they may not actually shout anything
Gremlin
Houdini
- Messages
- 17,741
- Name
- Ingrid
- Edit My Images
- No
Lost count the amount of times thats been posted on TP now
But then again, depending on who the body guards are actually employed by, they may not actually shout anything
Sorry not seen it before, but you delete it if you like
- Messages
- 17,352
- Name
- Bob
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Saw this on another forum....
The Dead Horse
The Dead Horse
A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died".
Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Donald said, “OK, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”
Donald moved into the White House!
The Dead Horse
The Dead Horse
A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died".
Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Donald said, “OK, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”
Donald moved into the White House!
- Messages
- 1,849
- Edit My Images
- Yes
DorsetDude
Spud
- Messages
- 7,018
- Name
- Keith
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I love the word dial, it's so laid back.
- Messages
- 4,717
- Name
- Ian
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Cripes that took me ages to get. I was even saying it aloud s l o w l y.I love the word dial, it's so laid back.
- Messages
- 1,298
- Name
- Ron
- Edit My Images
- No
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behaviour a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully began by saying to the man, "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in."
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behaviour a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully began by saying to the man, "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in."
Last edited:
- Messages
- 1,835
- Name
- dave
- Edit My Images
- Yes
my missus has just come into the living room dressed in a little black PVC number, Fishnet tights and high heels, She handed me a beer, told me to sit down and relax. She said when she come back she will give me what she does best. I hope she wont be long as I love her Shepard's pie.