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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
simon ess
Just call me Roxanne.
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- 9,605
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Crikey, that takes me back.
Two snowmen in a field...
One says, "can you smell carrots?"
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- 1,955
- Name
- Jason
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The old ones are the oldest.
Tigger.ufo
Lady Penelope
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- 5,924
- Name
- Heather
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Two parrots on a perch ...
one says to the other "can you smell fish?
one says to the other "can you smell fish?
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- 9,264
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Who else noticed that the "New Posts" search brought up "Too Cold for Photography" followed by "Blue Tit"?
Maybe it's just my mind...
Maybe it's just my mind...
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- 17,355
- Name
- Bob
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badlywornroy
I am not macho
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- 2,644
- Name
- Roy
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Well, it didn't take Rafa Benitez long to 'drown his sorrows' did it ?
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- 949
- Name
- ken
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Life's observations
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337, A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no point in two people remembering the same thing!
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337, A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no point in two people remembering the same thing!
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- 9,264
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- No
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Nod
Tootles
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- 45,607
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- Nod (UK)
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- 1,223
- Name
- Christopher
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- 84
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- Lunkwill
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- 1,143
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- Mike
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That's nothing compared to Graeme's last one, he didn't dare post about that one! I don't blame him eitherI enjoyed it, but I thought it was a bit risqué.
- his minds not usually that dirty.The previous one was at least less familiar, I've definitely read this one before.
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