The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

IMG-20220401-WA0002.jpg
 
Mountkeen said:
Ignoring for now the various errors contained in the text accompanying the picture (good journalism is clearly not high on the priorities for the Bridlington Free Press) - its the last line that's classView attachment 353345
Click to expand...
Genuinely laughed at that, brilliant
 
IMG-20220505-WA0000.jpg
 
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel?" The pirate says, "Arrrr! It drives me nuts!"
 
Found this at the bottom of my garden yesterday. It’s one of those 3-legged Martians I think and it’s eating my blackbirds. Luckily it’s not as big as those in The War of the Worlds.

1652344226791.jpeg
 
A man is at the bar, blind drunk. Some of the customers decide to be good Samaritans and get him home. They pick him up off the floor and drag him out of the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car, and he falls down four more times. They ring the doorbell and a woman answers. “Here’s your husband!” “Thanks,” says the man’s wife. “What did you do with his wheelchair?”
 
buddy.jpg
 
IMG-20220510-WA0006.jpg
 
A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape, should use that door. Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through. However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all. The doctor thinks he must be cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key."
 
Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.
 
Zy3p5D0Owo1rrR0rd5VMYBpv.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top