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They're real gnus and anybody who says otherwise is a liberal lefty snowflake!
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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful --
the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with
two problems.
"For all these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your tits."
“Oh!”, she said, "No point asking about the beard then..........
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful --
the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with
two problems.
"For all these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your tits."
“Oh!”, she said, "No point asking about the beard then..........
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Godwin's law (or Godwin's rule of Hitler analogies) is an Internetadage which asserts that "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Hitler approaches" that is, if an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later someone will compare someone or something to Hitler or his deeds.
From Wikipedia
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Nod
Tootles
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Pay attention.
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Gremlin
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Are you sure it wasn't aunty Wainrights
Nod
Tootles
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Skyline
Emmet Brickowski
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A woman gets up, puts up the shades, takes the cover off her parrot's cage, makes coffee, and has a cigarette. Suddenly the phone rings. Her boyfriend is coming over. She puts out the cigarette, pulls down the shades, puts the cover back on the parrot's cage, and gets back into bed.
The parrot, from under the cloth says: "Well that was a short feckin' day!"
The parrot, from under the cloth says: "Well that was a short feckin' day!"
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