The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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A lorry carrying thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the M25 motorway this afternoon...

Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.
 
A Barnsley Woman (pictured here) has lost her case at Barnsley Magistrates Court today, after she tried to sue Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital after her husband went in for an operation which left him unable to have sex with her afterwards.

Mrs DeMinger of Lundwood aged 67 said to reporters outside court this afternoon "Me and mi 'usband Gilbert 'ave 'ad bangin' sex till 'e went t'eh 'ossie and 'ad 'is operation, now 'e's not interested 'in mi any mooer and it's all darn to them b&$t&rds" !

The surgeon who performed the operation and attended court to give evidence said "all we did was remove Gilberts Cataracts" ! [emoji23][emoji23]FB_IMG_1595961621325.jpg
 
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