The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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sphexx said:
If that’s meant to be short for Dorothy then you may be right looking at ‘his‘ shoes ;).
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I'm pretty sure that was the point he was trying to convey :)
 
Cobra said:
I'm pretty sure that was the point he was trying to convey :)
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Yeah, I’m a bit dim today, a certain other thread has got me confused :(.
 
Garden clearance sale!

6 trampolines
21 fence panels (various sizes)
45 Marley roof tiles
Half a shed
Contact me for prices.
*Update* only 4 trampolines left, 2 have moved on….
New stock arriving every 5 mins
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I thought of my 85 year old neighbour In that awful storm-force gale yesterday so I went round and asked her if she needed anything from the supermarket.
Turned out she did, so I gave her my list of the things I needed - it was pointless both of us making such a hazardous journey …
 
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Suppose you marry a widow who already has a grown up daughter and then your father marries the grown up daughter.
Now the widow’s daughter becomes your mother.
Since your mother’s mother is your wife she is also your grandmother.
So, as the husband of your grandmother you become your own grandfather - simples …
 
Mag1cp2x said:
Suppose you marry a widow who already has a grown up daughter and then your father marries the grown up daughter.
Now the widow’s daughter becomes your mother.
Since your mother’s mother is your wife she is also your grandmother.
So, as the husband of your grandmother you become your own grandfather - simples …
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Welcome to many 'Family Tree' paths in Norfolk UK...
 
D-Mitch said:
The only place where family trees form a loop.
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Brings to mind the medical abbreviation NFN - Normal For Norfolk

A few others:
CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
FLK (Funny looking kid)
GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt).
LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home)
CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient)
Pumpkin Positive - the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up.
A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over, while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead.
 
Tigger.ufo said:
Nah!!! My Dad had it right, "one cuts, the other chooses"
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The Egyptian method for dividing antiquities in the early years when only the foreigners knew the ‘value’ ;).
 
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Mountkeen said:
Brings to mind the medical abbreviation NFN - Normal For Norfolk

A few others:
CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
FLK (Funny looking kid)
GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt).
LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home)
CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient)
Pumpkin Positive - the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up.
A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over, while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead.
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A similar engineering one - Doesn't know if their arse is bored or punched.
 
Mountkeen said:
Brings to mind the medical abbreviation NFN - Normal For Norfolk

A few others:
CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
FLK (Funny looking kid)
GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt).
LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home)
CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient)
Pumpkin Positive - the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up.
A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over, while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead.
Click to expand...

HTS - Hazard to shipping
 
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