The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[G.K.Jnr.]

I surf the web a lot, and I guess I was using too much bandwidth, because the other day I got an automated phone call from my service provider. It was The Rolling Stones singing, "Hey, you. Get off of my cloud!"

 

[Cockney]

 

[Nod]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[sphexx]

Not sure it quite belongs here but … an example of Life Imitating Art;

Seal breaks into New Zealand home, traumatises cat and hangs out on couch

Young fur seal slipped into marine biologist’s home through a catflap before spending more than two hours inside

www.theguardian.com

origin of ‘all right, you heard a seal bark’

refers to “All right, have it your own way—you heard a seal bark”, the caption to a drawing by James Thurber, originally published in The New Yorker of 30th January 1932

wordhistories.net

 

[sphexx]

 

[Farmerjim]

 

[ShinySideUp]

View attachment 364336

Could be worse, he could have written 'assburgers'!

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

 

[camerassassin]

 

[Nod]

 

[ShinySideUp]

I have no men in my pocket.

 

[ancient_mariner]

I have no men in my pocket.

Has no-one told you how it is that your 'smartphone' can do all these things?

 

[Nod]

I have no men in my pocket.

But while you're checking, you do...

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Nod]

View attachment 364601

Try making a Mojito with a couple of tiny nicks in your fingers...

 

[Nod]

Facebook etc. must keep moving or else they become Metastatic.

 

[badlywornroy]

These are hard times, I've just sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.

 

[Cobra]