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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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Tringa
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One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, "Acts 2:38: 'Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'" The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police. While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, "Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?" The robber said, "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"
Tringa
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Just heard this from a continuity announcer on Radio 4. The programme he was announcing was coming from Ely.
However, he said the programme was coming from the, 'fen lands of Eli". I think that was mentioned in the Old Testament.
Dave
However, he said the programme was coming from the, 'fen lands of Eli". I think that was mentioned in the Old Testament.
Dave
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A man goes into a bar and sits beside a beautiful woman. After a short time he looks at his watch very intensely and the woman notices, so asks him "why are you studying that watch"?
he replies "well it is a special watch and talks to me by sending thoughts to my brain".
so she says "what is it telling you now"?
He replies " is says you have no knickers on"
"yes I do have knickes on so you watch is faulty" she said
"No its not" he says "its an hour fast"
he replies "well it is a special watch and talks to me by sending thoughts to my brain".
so she says "what is it telling you now"?
He replies " is says you have no knickers on"
"yes I do have knickes on so you watch is faulty" she said
"No its not" he says "its an hour fast"
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I can almost see the sense in that, when it pulls your arm up you get reminded to slow down...
Better ties are of course needed as well & the slow down strap should be MUCH weaker
Tringa
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A question from the correct use of language section of a business forum
Q. When is it acceptable to use the phrase, "reach out" in a business email?
A. At any time provided you are, or have ever been, a member of the Four Tops.
Dave
Q. When is it acceptable to use the phrase, "reach out" in a business email?
A. At any time provided you are, or have ever been, a member of the Four Tops.
Dave
