The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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The wife has done nothing but stare through the window since it started snowing.

If it gets any heavier, I might have to let her in ...
 
I'm being given warnings about cold weather and being told to wrap up well with plenty of layers of clothes if I go outside!

Phew!!

Thanks for the warning guys, I was just about to go for a midnight walk in my shorts and flip-flops :)
 
Our top story today, a cement truck accidentally unloaded its entire delivery into the python enclosure at the local zoo. A spokesman for the zoo said 'now the snakes dont even have a pit to hiss in'
 
A new restaurant has opened near me, it specialises in pelican dishes.
The food is great but the bills are enormous.
 
Some years ago, I was reported on a forum for saying that Heaven and Hell could be found in the USA (the report was from an American, believing I was both blaspheming and disrespecting "his" country.) I replied with the coordinates for one example of each place name.
 
Nod said:
Some years ago, I was reported on a forum for saying that Heaven and Hell could be found in the USA (the report was from an American, believing I was both blaspheming and disrespecting "his" country.) I replied with the coordinates for one example of each place name.
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There's a place in Scotland called Dull which is twinned with an American town called Boring.
 
We have a place in Cheshire called Peover (pronounced to rhyme with beaver) that has caused one or two regional TV and radio broadcasters some embarrassment with their pronunciation over the years!
 
Mr Badger said:
We have a place in Cheshire called Peover (pronounced to rhyme with beaver) that has caused one or two regional TV and radio broadcasters some embarrassment with their pronunciation over the years!
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Not forgetting the Dorset river which was at one point being bottled. Don't think Piddle Water sold too well! (Mind you, the French used to drink Pschitt lemonade.)
 
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Nod said:
Not forgetting the Dorset river which was at one point being bottled. Don't think Piddle Water sold too well! (Mind you, the French used to drink Pschitt lemonade.)
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Piddle beer (named after the Piddle Brook) from Worcestershire is quite popular and there’s a well known rhyme consisting of local villages:

“Upton Snodsbury, Peopleton and Crowle, Wyre Piddle, North Piddle And Piddle in the Hole”
 
Snow plough for the South of England.

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This is definitely "funny" but can anyone explain it please?????
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