The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[simon ess]

Hey! When in glass houses...

you're in a world of pane.

 

[Mr Badger]

you're in a world of pane.

That's shattered my illusions.

 

[simon ess]

That's shattered my illusions.

So you've finally seen the light?

 

[Cobra]

you're in a world of pane.

I was framed

 

[Mr Badger]

I was framed

It was an open and shut case.

 

[Cobra]

It was an open and shut case.

I can see that, I'm not Blind

edit, please don't do the "blind man and the nuns" joke ...

 

[Mr Badger]

I can see that, I'm not Blind

Well, it'll be curtains for you if you don't pull yourself together.

 

[Cobra]

Well, it'll be curtains for you if you don't pull yourself together.

That's the net reaction I expected from you TBH

 

[Mr Badger]

That's the net reaction I expected from you TBH

I suppose we'd better draw this to a conclusion.

 

[MatBin]

I see a window of opportunity for a ban.

 

[Nod]

I suppose we'd better draw this to a conclusion.

Draw or tie-back?

 

[Mr Badger]

Draw or tie-back?

Probably hanging, the way it's looking for me at the moment!

 

[Cockney]

Time to bring the curtain down on all this.

 

[AndrewFlannigan]

I suppose it's going to be a black out.

 

[Mr Badger]

I've just seen this: http://www.msn.com/en-gb/money/news...4-billion/ar-AAGd2Tn?li=AA54rU&ocid=DELLDHP17

And after spraying my beer over the keyboard I realised that the blanked out word in paragraph 3 might actually have been swine, and not what I first thought?

 

[Cockney]

Best to draw a discreet veil over it.

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[mikew]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

There once was a man named McCrass.
His balls were made out of brass.
When he clanged them together,
They made stormy weather,
And lightning shot out of his ass.

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[MartynK]

There once was a man named McCrass.
His balls were made out of brass.
When he clanged them together,
They made stormy weather,
And lightning shot out of his ass.

That sounds very much like a verse from the Ball of Kirriemuir

 

[Skyline]

 

[scottishguy]

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary.
Those who do and those who don't.

 

[kennethwfd]

What's the difference between a baby and a choirmaster?

The baby sucks it's fingers

 

[Skyline]

Video link
Changed to a link while we investigate why it's not working.

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

Embedded media from this media site is no longer available

Nothing showing

 

[Cobra]

Nothing showing

Its being blocked for me as its "From an unsecured source"

 

[Tori_T]

Nothing showing

Its being blocked for me as its "From an unsecured source"

Try it now

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, " Well ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]