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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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ancient_mariner
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- Toni
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
ancient_mariner
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- Toni
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ancient_mariner
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- 23,574
- Name
- Toni
- Edit My Images
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A young beautiful coed, unbuttoned her blouse enough to show her cleavage, wore a mini skirt and approached her professor.
In a soft, sultry voice she told him, "I really need to pass this course. In fact, I'd do anything to get a passing grade."
The professor hesitated a second and said, "Anything?"
She said, "Yes. Absolutely anything."
So the professor leaned over, and whispered in her ear, "Would you ... ... (long pause) … ... study?"
In a soft, sultry voice she told him, "I really need to pass this course. In fact, I'd do anything to get a passing grade."
The professor hesitated a second and said, "Anything?"
She said, "Yes. Absolutely anything."
So the professor leaned over, and whispered in her ear, "Would you ... ... (long pause) … ... study?"
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- Martin
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Teach him photography and how to buy cameras even!
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- John
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Global warming is temporarily out of order due to cold weather.
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I've been paying £2 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year.....
I missed only two payments and they've just been round and broken my cat's legs....
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I've been paying £2 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year.....
I missed only two payments and they've just been round and broken my cat's legs....
OP
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- The real Chris
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The TV ads want me to adopt an Elephant, for 3 quid that seems like a bargain.
I adopted a low land Gorilla just before Christmas, and it never turned up,
so I'm not falling for that again, what ever the price is.
I adopted a low land Gorilla just before Christmas, and it never turned up,
so I'm not falling for that again, what ever the price is.
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- John Stewart
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- Jeff
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Just been diagnosed with a nasty problem , doc said he’s never seen a case like it , every time I get my hair cut I simply flake out and have to rest for a week or two.
doctor said it’s the worst case of Samsonite he has ever seen
doctor said it’s the worst case of Samsonite he has ever seen
