The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Philosopher René Descartes gave "cogito ergo sum," "I think, therefore I am" as the "first principle" of his philosophy. In turn, I wondered what others might have as their "first principle." This led to the following examples.*
A skunk: “Foeteo ergo sum“ = “I stink therefore I am“
A bottle of Pepto Bismoll: "Roseus ergo sum" = "I'm pink therefore I am"
A toy made from a spring: "Collabor ergo sum" = "I slink therefore I am"
A turn signal: "Palpabunt ergo sum" = "I blink therefore I am"
A lush: "Abbibo ergo sum" = "I drink therefore I am"
An eye: "Colloquia ergo sum" = "I wink therefore I am"
A fur coat: "Mustela ergo sum" = "I'm mink therefore I am"
A submarine: "Labellum ergo sum" = "I sink therefore I am"
A beaver: "Cogito ergo adger" = "I think therefore I dam"
A mollusc: "Cogito ergo chama" = "I think therefore I'm clam"
A pig: "Succidia ergo perna" = "I'm pork therefore I'm ham"
A sheep: "Balo ergo agnus" = "I bleat therefore I'm lamb"
A skater "Glaciarium ergo sum" = "I rink therefore I am"
A scale: "Pensito ergo gramma" = "I weigh therefore I gram"
A student: "Desum ergo confercio" = "I flunk therefore I cram"
A swimmer: "Cogito ergo natavitque" = "I think therefore I swam"
*(And note that I don't know much actual Latin, these are Internet "translations." Constructive comments are welcome.)
 
Marc said:
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I am reminded of a trip to a conference in Chicago. I'd met up with an Oxford prof who was part of our board for dinner, and we found a local steakhouse. They brought a large platter of steaks to the table so we could select our cut and then asked how we wanted it cooked. My colleague said "Well done please." to which the reply was "What! You mean grey all the way through! ".
 
"Knock off its horns, wipe its ass and set it on the plate!"
 
ancient_mariner said:
I am reminded of a trip to a conference in Chicago. I'd met up with an Oxford prof who was part of our board for dinner, and we found a local steakhouse. They brought a large platter of steaks to the table so we could select our cut and then asked how we wanted it cooked. My colleague said "Well done please." to which the reply was "What! You mean grey all the way through! ".
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I always thought 'well done' was the wrong term, badly over done is more appropriate, & in several cases I've seen 'shoe leather' would fit.

As Nod suggests their Rare is possibly a bit over done. With a good cut 'Blue' is preferable IMO.
 
My taste is medium rare TBH. Blue is a bit too bleeding for me!
 
I usually ask for saignant, even in France. This has produced several "are you really sure/do you know what that is" comments, but it normally works fine.

The rarest steak I ever saw was on another French work trip, where the local company rep had a piece of what I suspect was veal - the flesh was just white on the outside, not even seared.
 
I have mine "blue". Some restaurants refuse to do it now.
 
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