The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Does this remind you of anything? No?

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Look again

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: £1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: £2.50 HAND JOB: £10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
 
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Mountkeen said:
"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...............................as I back up my rage with facts and documented sources". - said the Credible Hulk.
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Groan :(
Mountkeen said:
Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me.

Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries.
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Double groan :p
 
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I witnessed totally disgusting behaviour on the beach at Weymouth today, a man and a woman arguing in front of a load of kids then she smacked him on the head and it all kicked off between them, the police turned up and the policeman used his baton on the bloke but the bloke actually managed to get the baton off the copper and started hit the copper and woman with it.
then a crocodile turned up and stole all of the sausages..................
 
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Mountkeen said:
The other week my Mother-in-Law was arrested for streaking at Crufts.

The judge gave her second place with her puppies but said her Schnauzer could do with a trim.
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Is that the same pensionable aged mother-in-law who did a streak at a flower show and got first prize for best dried arrangement?
 
While most people were running screaming from the hijacked plane today... A Scotsman

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