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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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- 104,590
- Name
- The other Chris
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I was round at a mates house one afternoon and we were having a beer in the garden, meanwhile his wife had put the washing out an gone shopping.
Anyway it started to rain so Nick thought he'd do the right thing and take the washing in and we adjourned inside with more beer. By the time Lynn came back it had stopped raining so she put the washing out again.
Pleased?
Not
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- 30,226
- Name
- George.
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A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
Cockney
I asked Admin for a user title
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- 9,569
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- Brian
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Life is so unfair.
Gremlin
Houdini
- Messages
- 17,752
- Name
- Ingrid
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A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while…”
Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, “ Works for ketchup."
Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, “ Works for ketchup."
- Messages
- 95
- Name
- Mick
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- Yes
Racing goose for sale.
PM me if you would like a quick gander.
PM me if you would like a quick gander.
