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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
Nod
Tootles
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- 45,579
- Name
- Nod (UK)
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So, so true! Although, since I only play social golf and almost always use found balls (picked out of the hedges alongside a couple of the fairways), I don't usually bother to look too hard for errant ammunition!
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- Name
- dave
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A man fell off a motorway bridge and landed in the middle lane where he was run over by a red lorry then a yellow lorry then a red lorry then a yellow lorry ….,
The policeman who had to inform the family said ,
“I’m sorry but there’s no easy way to say this …., “
The policeman who had to inform the family said ,
“I’m sorry but there’s no easy way to say this …., “
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- 3,761
- Name
- Trevor
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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?' The blonde said, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'
The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurized?' The blonde said, 'No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face'.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?' The blonde said, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'
The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurized?' The blonde said, 'No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face'.
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- 53
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I'm sure that goes back to Benny Hill!
She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart, "
And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart.
He said, "D'you want it pasturize? 'Cause pasturize is best, "
She says, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest."
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- Name
- Keith
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